1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize