My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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