I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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