Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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