Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
