My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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