My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
