think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
