there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize