if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
