Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
and you fell through a lawn chair
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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