do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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