Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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