idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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