its not stalking. its research.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
