But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
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i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
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Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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