My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
