i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
