We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
