so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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