Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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