I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
