I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
