i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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