And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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