WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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