i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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