I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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