so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
