I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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