Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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