Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
