She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
