Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm like, not good at living.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
