Define "chronic" masturbator.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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