i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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