I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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