I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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