she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
