I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
