yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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