just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I got inside last night via doggy door
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
