Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize