i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
