Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
