Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
