conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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