Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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