What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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