are you still at the devil's house?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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