I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
