you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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