woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
