I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need water and some morals
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
