Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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