just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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