I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
