mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
