Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize