im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
